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Crying, laughing, contemplating on birth and death, re-discovering one‘s own body and bathing in flowers. 11 days. Full on. Here is my version of what happened during my third and last training within my apprenticeship with Be Woman Project.
Do I better stay or leave a country where Corona can become life-threatening for people even if they‘re not infected? I let the repatriation-flight fly, without me. This is why I decided to do so and how I‘m trying to not lose sense of proportion…
Yes, I am scared too sometimes, and it can take me a bit to realize each time that there’s actually no reason for it. I mean there are reasons, it’s really legitimated to be scared these days. I’m reminding myself to ask myself though: “Am I really insecure?” (which I learnt from Vedanta-philosophy classes). AndContinue reading “Hard times have their power and beauty”
What are you longing for? a friend asked me recently. I long for trusting myself. For doing what my body wants to do, my heart, myself. For no more having that much need for external approval… The insight that one can trust one’s desires and that self-force doesn’t work, I got from a programme on dietary transformation (which is much more than just about food). And from Vedanta: My teacher says that we follow values not because we should – but because we realize what we lose by not following them: peace of mind.
It blew me away as only a few things have blown me away before. The woman who played the role of myself expressed thoughts which I had never said out loud but corresponded exactly to what was going on inside me. The other participants constellating my family expressed things that were amazingly true. I cried buckets full of tears… What’s the supposed effect of “family constellations”? I have some assumptions 🙂
The Vogue calls it “another well-being trend on the rise” leaving open whether “another” indicates that it will go out of fashion again soon or whether “it will grow as big as yoga” – as my Vedanta-teacher assumes. I think my teacher might be right. Whether it’s done in a spiritual way or in aContinue reading “Women’s Circles: the next big thing (maybe). Anyways, you might find it great, too.”
Not talking about emotions makes people sick. Not processed, they leave deep imprints. Labels, that stick – I at least often identify myself with them. I find two ways have helped me very effectively to come to my truth recently.
Once you go that path, you can’t help but continue to walk on it. It’s just too attractive. You have become too attractive. You don’t want to abandon yourself anymore… Here is what I have resonated the most with in the Be Woman Project-training dedicated to the goddesses Laksmi (neutralizes the sense of unworthiness) and Lalita (represents sacred beauty and sexuality).
I met a man many consider a guru. And exposed myself to a so-called open-eye energy-transmission. It literally opened my eyes to so many things. But maybe not the way you would expect.
It was a safe, at times, exciting job. Nevertheless I did my job only by quitting my job. What led me to my decision? Knowledge about how I can deal with anxiety and feel more at ease with myself, what values truly mean and that I can live with less. Namaste.
We spent 24 hours together and I fell in love. Believe it or not and I find it ridiculous, too. But it happened. And the pain felt real. I decided to handle it differently this time: I cried, I asked for help and then faced my shame and projection. Until I realized that I no longer really mind that he doesn’t take what is here.
My mood towards my writing was like the weather, flipping from sunshine to rain, breaking out in a thunderstorm. Then I was told that it’s about the process. About converting the pain into something beautiful. And that I should be patient with my process.